Confrontation is a essential part in the counseling process which helps the counselee to face and to own one's problem. However, it is not easy to confront someone who are activating defense mechanism in order to avoid the reality. Understanding one's defense mechanism helps the counselor to find a way to get into the heart of the problem. The false self is the term used to describe layer of defense erected to protect revealing real self. All major schools of therapy speak about the false self. The Jungians call it the persona(the mask). The T.A. people call it the adopted child. It is also called public self contrasted with the private self. The Bible speaks of the Pharisee hypocrite. In Greek hypocrite means an actor, one who is pretending. Jesus rebuked the phony performing self.
This thesis tries to explain biblical understanding of the false self which began when Adam sinned at the Garden. After Adam and Eve sinned against God , being covered with the intense shame and guilt and afraid of rejection and punishment, they reacted to defend themselves. Based on their reactions to avoid facing the problem, this writer developed three defense mechanism. 'Fight' is an attacking response to protect oneself and avoid the real issue. 'Please' is an giving in to other's demand response in order to avoid rejection and, as the result, one fails to reveal the real issue. 'Flight' is a moving away from others response to avoid facing and owning personal problem.
A key for effective confrontation depends on helping counselee to see their own defense mechanism to avoid the real problem. In other words, giving up one's false self and accepting true self is the heart of the counseling confrontation.